Stage Storyteller Mugs

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

"In a minor role, but giving a highly charged performance. . ."

Theatre masks

John James Heidegger, masquerade impresario, and Italian opera singers

"Congratulations on opening night."

'The guy before me was so bad the audience were still booing all the time I was on!'

Comedian is hook-rescued from angry audience.

Sailor boy

Parsifal

Shepherd and eurydice

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

Edgar Allen Poe

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'