Stage Sailor T-Shirts

Pirate

'They all want to play the star.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

Build a Raft

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

"Does my bum look big in this aria?"

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

Stephen Fry

Woman crying with happiness.

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

Mensa Does Improv

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

Waving from Behind the Curtain

'I'm a star!'

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"Take my advice; speak softly but carry a big shtick."

Mr. K's essay is such a drag! Yeah, but I've got to do really well. Twig! You're such a grind! Am not! Life isn't only about grades. I know! But he's directing the spring musical. And my singing won't get me the part all by itself! English: Gateway to the Grammys.

S.S.dot.com

'We had to donwsize.'

Chekov play and scorecard,

Tonight 'Richard III' a new play by William Shakespeare.

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'

TV stage door

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

Performance In The Bedroom

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

"My first love is the theatre, of course, but you're right up there."

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

Wordplay: Pantomime.