Stage Parents Pillows

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Trombone emerges from pram. Mother says: 'I'm a firm believer in starting them young.'

"Does my bum look big in this aria?"

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

Mensa Does Improv

'And when you're done here honey, I have a nice periwinkle picked out for the foyer!'

Cleaner cleaning under the feet of the dancers as they perform

"Take my advice; speak softly but carry a big shtick."

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

'We had to donwsize.'

Chekov play and scorecard,

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

TV stage door

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

Modern Parents

Performance In The Bedroom

Virtual Beach

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

'You wash and I'll dry.'

"Not now. I'm working on my children's book."

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

My dad makes his own beer.

Wordplay: Pantomime.

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

"Is there a rabbit in the house?"

Actor talking to unimpressed child

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.