Stage Parents Gifts

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Applause. Clap clap bravo. Spring musical. Cats. You were terrific! Our little girl!

Trombone emerges from pram. Mother says: 'I'm a firm believer in starting them young.'

"Does my bum look big in this aria?"

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Mensa Does Improv

'And when you're done here honey, I have a nice periwinkle picked out for the foyer!'

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"Take my advice; speak softly but carry a big shtick."

Cleaner cleaning under the feet of the dancers as they perform

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

'We had to donwsize.'

Chekov play and scorecard,

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

Performance In The Bedroom

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

TV stage door

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'

Virtual Beach

Modern Parents

"Not now. I'm working on my children's book."

'Hey Dad, Mom's got a new hobby...still life painting...er, Dad?'

'You wash and I'll dry.'

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

My dad makes his own beer.

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

Actor talking to unimpressed child

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"