Stag Night Gifts

'Where's the (hic!) second row?'

Sniffogram: 'Aww, YOU Guys!!'

'That was a lot of fun, guys. I better get back to my wedding before I get in any more trouble.'

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 9.

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Joe's 'Talent-Optional' Karaoke Bar

'Sorry, miss. It seems to be stuck!'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

'What did I SAY to DAVE?' - A person with hangover worrying about the night before.

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

'Don't you think you've had enough?'

'I still say it was a mistake having the ceremony TOO close to his stag night!'

Men. Women. Party Poopers.

"His note says the bachelor party was so great, he's decided to remain a bachelor."

"Oh yes, I'm still on the juice diet...this one just happens to be fermented."

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

Wide screen TV

'I was talking to that George Clooney yesterday. He is SUCH a name-dropper.'

'Usual Saturday night crap.'

Me Saturday Night...Me Sunday Morning.

"Am I sexy yet?"

Keeper giving Lords best position for shooting

"How was the cocktail, Sir, enough vodka?"

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 12.

"The first prize goes to WIlbur Van Zick who slept with nine out ten members of the jury. The second prize with eight members goes to..."

Dutch Courage

"Combining our favorite pastimes of drinking, fishing and hot tubbing makes me realize... we should stop drinking."

"This is a night for white wine."

Oscar Wilde

"Instead of improving myself, I've resolved just to improve on the wine I drink."