Stadium Prankster Pillows

'Do not even think about it, Ron!'

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

Music to drive ( others mad) to...

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

Football anagram: Curse straw mat (Answer: Marcus Stewart.)

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

"Negative net force puts object in motion. Positive net force will be applied when Digby apologizes for eating my yoghurt."

'It's not a sales chart. It's a diagram of the mountain we use to test our skis.'

"This is the only time of the year when we get to hit the children."

'See, I told you this electric fence would come in handy.'

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

Bahrain F1

"It was a professional hit..."

World Cup Football Enthusiasm!

'The manager tol us not to let the other side see the ball and that's what I'm doing!'

'I have to hang up now. I'm getting some static on another line.'

Bowled out.

Skiers

'The bite was great but you forgot to clutch your face and fall to the ground waving an imaginary card...'

Sent to the corner on school sports day.

"I think Wendy likes me... she kept the spitwad I threw at her!"

'I'm not sure that mentioning your diploma in 'Monkey Business' really helps your resume...'

Whistling

'Poor old Fred at home. He thinks I'm out selling Tupperware.'

'No fair cheating, Mr. Carpenter.'

"O.K., now, when a teacher comes out, everybody look straight up."

'How about a cream pie? A cream pie might work.'

"Okay! Okay! I'll do something to stop the barking!"

Everything was fine until Becky's little sister decided to skip double.

"Nigel's boss told him to get in the conference photos at all costs"

'I told you to pick me up around the corner.'

Footballer uses the ref's foam to shave.

Bully playing conkers with a computer.