Stadium Joker Pillows

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

'Hey, hey, hey!'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'People have been known to lose an eye when a wink goes seriously wrong.'

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

'Yup, cannon in D.'

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

"You idiots … we lost!"

Ha! Musical fruit my patootie...

'I had three catches dropped today.' - 'Yes, but the were dropped by spectators in the stand.'

'Jim I don't think you have quite go this 'Iron Man Challenge' thing.'

Football drummer

Hope and pray it's nothing more than a 'Spectator Sport'!'

'The pro told me my score of 392 is a course record!'

"Uh ho. It looks like the Ref's giving him the yellow vuvuzela."

"I've got sea mail."

'Team spirit, my ass.'

'Beware of Dog' sign next to accordion-playing canine.

His Other Shtick

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

The defence were confident about their offside trap.

Stretcher Header.

Offering a golfer a spade.

"The last one to The Four Seasons picks up the check."

'I must warn you that bagpipes sound exactly the same when you've finished learning as when you start. . .'

Spiked Ball

'You know, that's a TYPO.'