Squirrel Watcher T-Shirts

"Nowadays, it's all about who you know, not what you know."

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

"Okay, break's over. I'll give you a ten second head start."

"What you need to do is, find the biggest squirrel in the yard, walk right up to him and shake the dirty walnuts out of him."

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"Looks like the tree just ate Mr. Squirrel."

"Doris, cancel my three o'clock."

"Marco... POLO!"

'Oh, I could easily climb down on my own, but you see, I just love seeing Fire-Engines...'

'It's a rare sighting of a red squirrel.'

'A nutcracker? Admit it, Fred, you're getting old.'

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"Sign my yearbook?"

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

M.T. accidentally triggers the predator pursuit response.

Fly Fishing

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

He is familiar with the silent swoop of the evening bat.

Duck Hunt

"Mind the whale, dear."

Bears catching fish

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'