Squires Gifts

A Country Boy Throws a Turnip at the Squire.

"I may be your page today, but someday, I hope to be the whole book."

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

Crowded Ice Fishing

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

Test your patience, back in one hour.

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

Customer to skin artist: 'Can I just get a tattoo of a body piercing?'

A man wrapped in bath towel looks in closet where a bunch of identical men hang, each in a different suit.

The Inn Keeper's Wife and Daughter taking care of the Don after being beaten and bruised.

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."

"That's a good look for you, J.B."

Two men in war bonnets sit in front of a giant skull

"I think he's lost."

The Hollowdays.

"This place is famous for the way they serve eggs."

Knight

"Just even it out."

"Did you get it at Bed, Birch and Beyond?"

'If I don't like it, I rearrange your face.'

Barrister uses legal speak to ask for two sugars in his tea.

Trying to hold on to the question.

'Gone Crazy'

"How do they tell each other apart?"

"Mom!!"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Shoulder-pads.

Nightmare in the yellow-breasted bunting aviary: Mrs. Havesham is back and this time she means business.

"I like the suit, but do you have it in a smaller check?"

Companies are looking for alternative transportation

The first marsupial.