Squid Squad Member Pillows

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

Myths and legends...

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

"That was before I found this amazing new way to earn $$$ working from home."

'Little is known about these amazing creatures, as there have only been a few live sightings, by giant squid scientists. Despite previous beliefs, they are actually a land animal, as the fins and respiratory system are removable.'

What Sisyphus Learned: "When life gets rough, you sure find out who your friends are!"

"It's like the other ones! I saw a shark! I saw a shark!"

"You can do it!"

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

"I volunteer for the Samaritans. I tried to phone in sick this morning but they talked me out of it."

Snow White and the Seven Dorks.

Library: The Weight lifting Section.

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

'The squid seems a bit underdone.'

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Batfan" in Dallas, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. My girlfriend is refusing to go see "Justice League" because she things Marvel's take on the genre is the only way to do it. How do I get her to be more open-minded and tolerant? You don't! Just become less open-minded yourself. You can't change other people, you can only seek vengeance upon them. Um ... Do you happen to have Doctor Phil's number?

'Oh great, we'll never win with this nerd on our team.'

"Do you have anything that removes ink stains?"

Squids Rule

'You're dancing horribly! Where's that nimble little squid I saw at audition?'

'No, no, no! I said squids, giant squids.'

"Sorry dear! I'm very busy right now."

'Heel! HEEL! Bad potato!'

Target practice

'Oh my God! It's Billy the Squid...!'

"I've joined the world's fastest growing social media website..."

Another Timmy Pet Fail!

Pygmy giant squid

"Wow! One of the side-effects is a squid on your head. How is that possible?!"

'I'm afraid there's not much I can do. You're an invertebrate.'

'Thanks for not letting cancer define who you are.'

Meet Mister Printer!