Spud Squad Member T-Shirts

'Heel! HEEL! Bad potato!'

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

The Inexperienced Cook

'...you'd better get yourself a good lawyer!'

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

'You've never planted potatoes before have you?'

"That was before I found this amazing new way to earn $$$ working from home."

'It's hard to slice a potato once you've looked it in the eye.'

Mash-Test Dummies.

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

'Ooh girl, he may look like a potato, but he moves like a yam!'

Snow White and the Seven Dorks.

The six stages of hard drive death and dying.

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

'Maybe you should try flowers?'

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Batfan" in Dallas, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. My girlfriend is refusing to go see "Justice League" because she things Marvel's take on the genre is the only way to do it. How do I get her to be more open-minded and tolerant? You don't! Just become less open-minded yourself. You can't change other people, you can only seek vengeance upon them. Um ... Do you happen to have Doctor Phil's number?

'So, that's settled - the eyes have it!'

'Oh great, we'll never win with this nerd on our team.'

Spud U-boat

Spud U Like/Spud U Don't Like.

Eye Bank.

Potato singing - 'Peelings,, Nothing more than Peelings,,'

"I've joined the world's fastest growing social media website..."

'The buck teeth, the thick glasses, the white socks, the pocket protector.... You're a software pirate, aren't you?'

Meet Mister Printer!

After 10 years, the great potato race of 1997 was finally declared a tie.

'C'mon, Alan, it was just a joke! Don't you think you're overreacting?'

Tunnel of Love

Kids! I hope you're not playing with my new surfboard again...

"You're right, that new girl has a great personality, terrific hair, and dynamite figure, so we agree....we hate her, right?"

"My computer keeps locking up. I thought 1990 was a good year to buy a computer!"

"In my father's day this may have been a potato peeler but you're gonna be marketing it as a Spud Master X-17B."