Spreadsheet Avoider Gifts

'I'll do those spreadsheets later - I've just worked out how to download jaffa cakes.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"I need to see your budget proposal."

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

Paperwork No Me Gusta.

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

"I love your optimism."

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

End of Year Figs.

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

"Will you stop saying 'ouch' every time I cut something out of your budget?"

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

"Well in our defence we did get the numbers right they were just in the wrong order!"

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

In and Out Box

Company profit making scheme - Jenkins, you owe us £327.95.

'Lou you have never gotten comfy with spreadsheets, have you?'

"I'll need some distracting hilarity on the borders of my quarterly report."

Tax Collector

'There it is! I've isolated the origin of the firm's demise.'