Spread-savvy Sports Fan Gifts

'Sometimes you just can't win.', 'Win, nothing -- I can't even beat the point spread!'

"Good game."

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Mixed Doubles.

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Spring Training

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

Ted's Brilliant Rugby Career Was Plagued By Nagging Injuries,

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

Bird about to dive from diving board into birdbath