Spread-savvy Sports Fan Gifts

'Sometimes you just can't win.', 'Win, nothing -- I can't even beat the point spread!'

"Good game."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Mixed Doubles.

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

Spring Training

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Raheem Sterling

Ted's Brilliant Rugby Career Was Plagued By Nagging Injuries,

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

"Ohhh...pick me pick me!!"

"This is no time for fightin', princess, there's a war on!"