Spouse With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

'Hello dear, what are you doing home on halloween? Shouldn't you be out on your broomstick?'

Skeleton playing fetch.

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

Try Mediation

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

'In sickness and in health, under affordable health care or unaffordable. . .'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

"What do you mean I never take you anywhere? We're here, aren't we?"

'It started with between-meal snacks -- now he's having between-snack noshes.'

"No heroic measures."

"You say that I love the Liverpool football team more than I love you?...."

"It's about time you finished the wall, Herbet...that's your problem, you never finish anything you start!"

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."

'My wife likes it when I help out in the kitchen.'

'Looks like the doctor confirmed my diagnosis. It's not just your bowel. Everything about you is irritable.'

"I now pronounce you a joint return."

'Not that insect, silly! That's my husband.'

"I knew Mary would dump me when my fleece got a little gray."

"And they all said, twenty five years ago, that our trial seperation wouldn't last!!"

"There's nothing wrong with your marriage that an extra bathroom and walk-in closet can't solve."

"I don't think this is the answer, Harold."

'You were nagging your husband all over the road. I'll need to see your marriage license.'

"Yes, we know them. We like them, but we're not crazy about, you know, the other him."

"... and don't forget to clean out the garage and attic... and the gutters need to be..." "Put a sock in it, Sally. You knew I wasn't an eager beaver when you married me."

"Would it kill you to help around the house for once?!"

"You never tell me you love me." "I told ya' once. I'll let you know if anything changes."

"It may surprise you to know that, contrary to your experience, you're actually very happily married."