Spouse-to-be T-Shirts

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

Is your visit business, pleasure or asylum? Canada border. I've come to see your beautiful mountains ... and lakes and, um ... hockey. Oh yes, I sure love winder sports. I'm supposed to get married next month! Asylum. Next!

'I'm sorry, but 'I'll see how I feel on the night' isn't really acceptable.'

Wedding ceremony

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Ok, here's a tough one, Joe, but it has to be asked.'

'I sent out for everything.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Come dine with me!

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

You're my Mona Lisa.

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Police Feline Unit

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

LAY ZEE FUK

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Talk nerdy to me."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

Lesbian civil partnership.

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

'Do you think we can cuddle?'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'