Spouse-to-be Mugs

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

'I'm sorry, but 'I'll see how I feel on the night' isn't really acceptable.'

Wedding ceremony

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Ok, here's a tough one, Joe, but it has to be asked.'

'I sent out for everything.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Come dine with me!

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

You're my Mona Lisa.

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Police Feline Unit

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

LAY ZEE FUK

"Talk nerdy to me."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

Lesbian civil partnership.

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."