Soon-to-be Spouse T-Shirts

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'Oh for crying out loud, Harold! Using a pencil to sign the marriage certificate? Can't you commit to anything?'

"You don't have to say anything but anything you do say will be taken down and maybe..."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

"They look so young and helpless."

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

Fat Kid 3- Pet slug runs amok (colour)

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"So! When's the big day?"

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

'You can have a cute little boy like me. All you have to do is get pregnant.'

Daisy Diaper Service

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

'I'm afraid we don't deliver on Sundays.'

Baby Footballer

Ginger hair

Pregnant couple: I'm so glad I'm a woman/I'm so glad I'm a man.

"It gets easier the second time."

'I'm sorry, but 'I'll see how I feel on the night' isn't really acceptable.'

"It must be hereditary. My mom got pregnant too!!"

'Soon he will stop asking where he came from and start telling you where he is going.'

The wedding.

They said it would never last. Even the photographer used a disposable camera.

'Last seen running away from St. Paul's Church...'

Open other end

'The tests show it's a boy.. we can't tell whether he'll vote Republican or not.'

'Explain to me again how a trip to the mall to buy shoelaces resulted in this!'

'What - you don't want to marry me after you became rich and famous? Oh, great! Now I've got to think about a new pension plan!'

"How much does it cost to get married? I don't know, I haven't finished paying yet!"

Potential Partners

"You are going to marry and have a baby. But not necessarily in that order."