Soon-to-be-wed Couple T-Shirts

'uh, dear. I think we're supposed to write our own vows, not each others.'

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Couples' therapy

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"I'm texting you a love poem inspired by the emoji you sent me."

Wedding Fayre

'...And do you John take Jennifer to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, to write off on your taxes?'

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

"Till death us do part? Don't be so bloody morbid!"

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

"Hold on—I'm getting information as to why these two should not be wed."

The Aisle

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

50,000 BC: The First Engagement Ring.

'...Love, honor, cherish, and be careful what you wish for.'

"Will the role of wife call for any nudity?"

"You may now begin your insane experiment."

Last night of freedom.

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...