Spouse Escape Planners Gifts

"We're taking separate vacations this year. Arthur is going on a ego trip and I'm going to Hawaii."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

"Always carry a ball with you! If you are chased by a dog, stop, show the ball and throw it. Believe me, he won't be able to resist chasing it instead of you..."

Desert Island Fantasies

'Darling, how romantic...a pre-nup.'

"I have to confess a sin, Preacher. I went premarital shopping."

"Pre-nups are healthy for a relationship. It's good for our lawyers to get to know one another."

"We just want a vacation --- we don't want to learn anything."

'I couldn't run away with you. I feel I would be depriving a village of its idiot!'

'Not Andy. He'd rather do anything than go on the family vacation.'

Deflating Island

'She's not actually missing yet but I'll be in Brazil next week.'

"I'll drill a hole in the side and we'll be FREE!!"

"We've got a real feisty one here. We caught it trying to cross the stream behind the store."

Yet another family that decided to drop everything and follow The Grateful Dead around for a while.

"It's pro-active, Stan. I'm leaving you before you become a midlife male sleazeball creep."

"The Judge gave me a choice - marry his daughter or go to jail. You're looking at a happy man."

"Crap – we brought the wrong car."

'Here he comes!... Hide the file!'

'Here's my plan how to break out of here...'

You're moving to Canada to avoid getting married? Canada border. I'm not the marrying type. I can't be tied down. I'll feel trapped, ornery, mean and I can't cook! Mexico's lovely this time of year. Hide me in your basement.

hitchhiking turkey - Escaping the Holidays

"I've decided to re-enter the workforce so I can spend less time with my family."

Way out.

Narcissus! Come back!

"Mr. Weems is easily approachable. It's the exit strategy that requires detailed strategy."

"The scary part of retirement wouldn't be just financial. It would be having Larry around all the time."

"You have a right to know—I've been married occasionally."

"Mom, I've decided to move in with grandma and grandpa."

"How's the divorce going?"

"OK, let's get married and have lots of kids, but I'm warning you: I draw the line at home schooling!"

'Is that ALL you can ever talk about - ESCAPING?'

"After 20 years of marriage we'd like to get away from it all...including each other!"

"Lunch on Tuesday? I won't be free. How about Thursday week?"

"It's a climbing trellis, for the roses."