Couple's Retreat Planner Gifts

Narcissus! Come back!

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"We are doing something. You're just not good at it."

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

'You know your problem, Harlan? You need to get in touch with your 'inner beach bum'.'

"You don't understand, Mom. Our staying in and watching TV is not the same as you and Dad staying home and watching TV in Dayton, Ohio."

'He's telling them it's time to head south.'

Customized Personal Retreats.

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

"...And then beyond the lawn, a lily pool with fountains and..."

'I couldn't run away with you. I feel I would be depriving a village of its idiot!'

"I think I prefer a hot Italian sun on my back and a hot Italian hand on my backside..."

"Is this the Love Boat?"

Bed & Breakfast

"I got married once - to avoid writing."

'But we can't go to Australia for our honeymoon, you know how my Mother hates flying!'

"No, I don't know when my sister will be home. How long do honeymoons last?"

'And how do I know this is MRS. Smith?!!'

"We look so happy. Do we really want to destroy that by traveling through Europe together?"

"Looks like on of those 'Staycationers' in his motor home."

'Yes, a two centre holiday sounds good to me. I'll go to Paris, where do you fancy?'

"You never tell me anything. Keep up the good work."

"We would like the bed delivered immediately!"

"We're taking separate vacations this year. Arthur is going on a ego trip and I'm going to Hawaii."

'I believe that's supposed to read 'Just Married'.'

"The good news is that all the teachers loved the weekend brainstorming retreat. The bad news is that a dozen of them are out today, with splitting headaches."

"Time for a vacation!"

"Paintballing is great for team development..."

Fountain of Youth

"Where do I sign? I'm totally blind without my contacts."

'In retrospect, Limbo probably wasn't a good honeymoon destination.'

Loud Music.