Sporty Doc Gifts

"It appears the God complex doesn't carry over to the golf links."

Football Fans

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

Golf Clubs Underwater.

The Giamatti era

Table tennis.

'Since the playing field was sold off we've become a centre of excellence for one-a-side football.'

Formula One car origami

'I'd rather be playing football.'

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

Sports Medicine.

'Please open your mouth and say '68, 56, 87, ..'

'Really? -- the official steroid of the 2012 Olympics?'

'Where the Deer and the Antelope play and veterinary dental bills are high.'

Mountaineering section

"Good news, I found a doctor who says you can still play"

'...Splints. Tape. Ice pack. Bandages....Wait! Here it is - spare brain.'

'I think he's got another inning left in him... clear!'

'It's an old badminton injury.'

Cricket with a hamster in a plastic ball.

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

'Look up... Look down... Look at my thumb. Gee, You're...'

'How Sir Isaac Newton discovered swing bowling'

'I can't let him back in to play. He couldn't tell me what he's making this year.'

A runner crosses the finish line chased by a nurse.

'I'll look for the ball. You look for the club.'

"I came to a sports doctor because I fell off the sofa cheering for a 'March Madness' basketball team."

Fielder being carried away on stretcher, team mate sympathetically says 'Well held, Tony'

'We're doomed. His knee is torn to shreds, we have no backup, quarterback and... wait! Look! It's Ligament Man!'

'Send in the toboggan team next.'

"I've just bought some water skis. Now I've just got to find a lake with a slope!"

"Al dente!"

A road running through a golf course with a sign beside it that reads "Fore!".