Sports Medicine Enthusiast Gifts

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

If nobody had invented graphics

Football Chameleon

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"How should we divide the teams?"

A day at the transgenic races

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

A married couple share the same pole vault.

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

Ratminton

Saving a Heart

Gary turns 40.

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"