Sports Medicine Enthusiast Pillows

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

Football Chameleon

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

If nobody had invented graphics

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Monica Seles

Ratminton

"How should we divide the teams?"

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

A married couple share the same pole vault.

A day at the transgenic races

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Gary turns 40.

Saving a Heart

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

Raheem Sterling