Sports Team Enthusiast Gifts

'I can't go to the dance with you, Kevin. According to facebook, all the sports teams you root for are losers.'

"Good game."

I like the Jets...I guess

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'My feet are killing me.'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Go team!

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

If nobody had invented graphics

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

Football Chameleon

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."