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"Department of Sports Analogies"

I like the Jets...I guess

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'To talk to men at their own level you have to talk a load of balls.'

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

The Boys of Indian Summer

'I don't even care about the score, catty. I just enjoy the long walk.'

A skier and a paraglider

David and Goliath.

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

'Charles is a linguist. He speaks three language...golf, baseball and football.'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

'Glen Hoddle employs faith healer' "Remember the days we only had a magic sponge?"

NFL linebackers are identified in early infancy and sent away to the secret academy until puberty.

"I can't shake the feeling there's always someone looking over my shoulder."

"I'm here to gets the gold"

"Don't hit him too hard, his little old mum's at the ringside!"

'Remember that summer we coached little league?'

'Well, I've stopped racing professionally you see, so I can enjoy good food at long last...'

Boy spinning basketball on finger next to dog spinning ball on wagging tail.

"I've had enough of character building, Dad. Can I support a successful team now?"