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'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"Now that you've won the Super Bowl what will you do next?"

"Your Honor, I have a rebuttal witness."

"Well, Mom, I guess you saw what happened."

"i'm not surprised to find this. You can fit a pickleball court anywhere."

'No, I haven't heard the score of the football game.'

'I see the SAGA talent scouts are here.'

Doping

"I must have hit 20 home runs!"

"Too bad we're on hole sixteen."

Wordilly Durdillies - A cow putt

'I'm proud of the lads. They show'd a lot of character coming back from one down. . . then two or three silly goals. . . At this level you get punished. But overall I thought we were a bit unlucky. . .'

"And in an amazing development today, Oxford has failed to qualify for the boat race."

"Er...Eric..."

The New York Sportswriters

'He's okay otherwise, but I get sick and tired of hearing about his lifetime batting average of .325.'

"If you don't wish to hear the match result look away now."

'...Meanwhile, in the Catholic division, Divine Mercy throttled Eternal Peace, while Good Shepherd was mercilessly pummeled by St. Francis.'

Tough day coach. What happened?...I think it's pretty obvious Frank...You can't win a ball game with that many turnovers!

Marcus Rashford

'I'm sorry...Commissioner who?'

Main St Ottowa

Golf on TV

"Long ago men cursed and beat the ground with sticks. It was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf."

'Of course we have the finest facilities in the league. This locker room has leather bench seating, cold a.c., and even plenty of cup holders.'

"The combined total of major-league batting averages was down three and a half points today. Outs outnumbered hits four to one, on a total of fourteen hundred at-bats."

"Sex, drugs and sports. Didn't it used to be sex, drugs and rock and roll?"

'What? I've been cut from the team!??'