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'...Meanwhile, in the Catholic division, Divine Mercy throttled Eternal Peace, while Good Shepherd was mercilessly pummeled by St. Francis.'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Squeezing the Free Press.

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

Gay Times...

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Press Freedom

Difference of Opinion

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

A little bird told me...

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

You can take the boy out of Wimbledon...

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

Man Reading Laptop.

Cricket Accidents.

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

The Other Cooperstown

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Novak Djokovic