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"If you don't wish to hear the match result look away now."

'Last quarter, Jeremy, you dropped two passes. Could you tell our viewers how you plant to catch this pass?'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Squeezing the Free Press.

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

Press Freedom

Gay Times...

If nobody had invented graphics

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

Difference of Opinion

You can take the boy out of Wimbledon...

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

A little bird told me...

I think you're ace

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

Perils of the double play.