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Sportscasters on the Savannah

Sports Radio in Crisis

'Oooh, looks like a broken leg for Randolph - broken legs are brought to you by Altrion Orthopedics Incorporated...'

Sportscaster dines out

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'How do you know he wants to go to college? Maybe he wants to be a sportscaster.'

'That's an interesting point. If they're both on the same team, is it a penalty?'

Cliches for sportscasters...new and used

'It's a tough break for Winslow. With 5 fowls on him, he'll have to be careful.'

'He'll never be considered a great athlete until he gets a cool nickname.'

"The ref's produced a yellow card, Ginola shows his Equity card"

"The post-touchdown celebrations are getting out of hand."

"He dribbles to the top of the key, he shoots, he... pulls a hamstring!"

'Number 20 is up. His batting average is 320 and his drug tests are negative.'

'Big turnover at center ice! Mmm...looks delicious.'

"I suspected barstool founder David Portnoy was racist."

"It's absolutely marv."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

If nobody had invented graphics

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

I think you're ace

You can take the boy out of Wimbledon...

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Perils of the double play.

'The 'Leviathan Bat,' or many centuried marvel of the modern (cricket) world. (Dr. William Gilbert Grace.)'