Sports Soothsayer Gifts

'I see your future ... it's gonna be a riot!'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Personal conker trainer.

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

National Academy of Sport

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"Try letting the ball come to you."

The Boys of Indian Summer

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'OK, be the ball, be the ball, be the ball'

'Charles is a linguist. He speaks three language...golf, baseball and football.'

'He has some unresolved issues.'

"The hardest thing about learning to tumble is the floor."

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist pump."

'Ring around the rosey ...'

I predict a huge fall followed by a lucrative job offer with a major cake baking company.

Injured player

Protesting man's sign reveals that his credit has run out.

'It's not his knee. It appears his feelings are hurt and the team psychologist is rushing out onto the field.'

"Then it's settled -- our strategy is to hope for better things."

"Is your injury sports-related?"

"Any kind of election is getting harder to call these days. . ."

'I can see much grief, suffering and misfortune ahead - and you'll always be dogged by extremely bad luck - but, the good news is you're going to live to a very old age!'

'Psst - my wife works part time for the IRS!'

"What is it about an unfavorable soccer outcome that makes me want to wreak immediate havoc in the streets?"

'What if we don't change at all ... and something magical just happens?'

'He's a little unpredictable, but with the right combination of medication and therapy, he can make an impact on this league.'

'Wow, that's the worst case of tennis elbow I've seen this year!'

'Your shares are doing well... No wait, they're falling, no they're rising, no falling and rising...'

"I know it's just a game, sweetie, but our entire gender's political survival hinges on the outcome."

"Let me through - I'm a Sound Recordist!"