Sports Scandal Follower Pillows

"Nixon was the same way when he first got here."

"That's nuthin'. Yesterday he beat up Alex Rodriguez."

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

'No, I haven't heard the score of the football game.'

"I suspected barstool founder David Portnoy was racist."

LEV Trump

"He wasn't so keen on austerity after all."

"Your fastball is just hanging and your curve isn't breaking at all. What you should do is take an analgesic with some pain-relieving anti-inflammatory ingredients for a few days."

Rush Limbaugh 'apologizes' over Slutgate.

"You'd have thought they'd have all slept with each other by now."

"Finally, your halftime show - the Mueller report!"

"His number is the amount of payola he received to play basketball for his college."

"Quick, we need a distraction. Release the pee pee tapes!"

Rocko the Boxer

Baseball Cash

'I'm sorry...Commissioner who?'

James Corden banned from restaurant for abusive behaviour.]

"Sex, drugs and sports. Didn't it used to be sex, drugs and rock and roll?"

Alternative Names for Washington Redskins

Let the game begin.

'Swelling, Babcock, is our body's way of telling us that something's wrong. But if you insist on staying in the game, hey, it's your elbow.'

'... And so the tortoise beat the hare, but was later disqualified due to steriods abuse.'

Olympic village with boy selling urine samples outside.

THIEFA

"C'mon, I'll show you the crime scene...ummmh...my house!"