Sports Scandal Enthusiast Pillows

'... And so the tortoise beat the hare, but was later disqualified due to steriods abuse.'

Baseball Cash

Oscar Pistorius

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

'I was hounded out of office!', 'That explains the smell.'

Fifty shades of Leveson.

"That's nuthin'. Yesterday he beat up Alex Rodriguez."

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"Doesn't look good. The boss just changed his Facebook status to 'Fleeing the country with hookers and compnay 401k plan.'"

Trump returns home

Mary Trump

"We're going public with our stock AND your philandering."

"Sir, your new campaign manager is here."

'Oh, I'm just writing a tender memoir or my long ago affair with J.F.K...it's filled with pathos and sad wishful longing...'

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

Goal!

'I want a scurrilous biography. If it was good enough for Getty, it will be good enough for me.'

Trumpled

Tennis corruption

Gulliver's Travails

"What are you thinking of, Dear?" "Oh just something I said to Robert Mueller."

"Come on now answer the question, I want something that can be taken out of context and make the show go viral on twitter."

"You never saw a tax haven. Now look into this light.

Rupert Murdoch in the mud.

"You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15."

1998: A Look Back

"Like WikiLeaks has nothing better to do."

"I think he should cut a deal and invite Paula Jones to join NATO."

Sauce close to the PM.

"The president's parade"

"I said 'Are you available for comment?' Sir Geoffey"

"I'm here to ensure there's no hanky-panky with the ball's inflation."

"Bugger, some whistleblower has blabbed about how much we spent to stop whistleblowers blabbing about..."