Scandal Enthusiast Pillows

"You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15."

"It's not all bad. We still have enough cash for bribing the prison guards."

"Where my travel expenses come from is none of your business!"

"It's nothing really serious. I just wandered a little too close to the harsh light of intense public scrutiny."

"As a sign of respect for you stockholders, our CEO will use his one phone call from prison to take questions about the recent negative publicity."

1998: A Look Back

Clinton Presidential Library: 'You must be 21.'

TALK-SHOW STUDIO, 'We're on a ten-second delay in case a caller says something that makes sense.'

Johnson Flat refurb inquiry

The Prince Regent and Lady Hertford's Affair

'What the actress actually said to me was. . .'

'What kind of agent are you if you can't even get my phone hacked?'

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

'I'm afraid there's no market for 'Kiss n Tell' these days. We need 'Shag n Tell' at the very least...'

Trump's Nixon Reflection

Farcical Recognition Technology

'Poor chaps really embarrassed...a blogger blew the lid on all the sexual antics and affairs in top management, and he wasn't even mentioned!'

"Not now! I'm trying to wipe my Ashley Madison account from my server!"

MPs Expense Claims - INcredible OUTlandish

'I've been having an affair with Tiger Woods.'

CONGRESS, 'We have a big pork bill to pass, McFlibley -- would you mind distracting the press with a big sex scandal?'

"Would you vote for someone who didn't have an interesting private life?"

Pocket Pickup Pal

'sell Obama's senate seat and pocket the money!'

"Look, I've denied it - can we move on?"

Johnson Lockdown Party

"Come on now answer the question, I want something that can be taken out of context and make the show go viral on twitter."

January and February 1998

"Everybody's somebody's contra."

John, You Hardly Knew Us

John, You Hardly Knew Us

Tiger Woods' "DUI"

The Hillary Defense

Obvious Press

From Pure Evil to Pure Lover