Sports Promoter Pillows

Agent discusses boxing match

BORIS NEEDS YOU

Sponsorship Deal

'Apparently Barry Hearn got the sponsorship deal.'

If Bernie Ecclestone does not get his pound of flesh from Montreal, the Canadian Grand Prix will not roll.

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

A young Don King

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

'My long-range goal is to turn pro and lead the league in product endorsements.'

Sportswasher's

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"With your voice and my marketing skills, we'll sell records by the million!"

Garage Music

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

Club DJ.

Sports Sponsorship "What do you mean he lost?"

'Slugger' Sims...Leader in: Home Runs, RBIs, Endorsement Deals.

'Bad news. Your arm is too injured to hold up those sneakers you endorse on TV.'

'So how did Hakeem take it when you told him we'd be paying him in footwear instead of cash this year, for being our spokesman?'

"He'll do anything to get his underwear sponsors a mention!"

'My fan focus groups indicate that I should show more of my legs.'

An honesty of agents

"I decided to go on land after I got the sneaker deal."

"Narrative play is dead."

'Usherettes and razzamatazz won't bring back the crowds - we need some new lions'.

"I'm going to try to settle you down, Halberson, but first a word about Fexler Lite Beer."

'Oh I retired a few months back...I'm a promoter now.'

"It's not about win or lose. It's about how much money I'm going to make."

"So much for that publicity stunt."

The Sponsored Skier

Football players with The Frilly Knicker Shop on their shirts, "I wish we could change our sponsor"

"This is the new pre-season, post game, after lunch but before 4 PM kit!"

'There's more to life than winning. There's also getting schools to pay you a share of their ticket and sports memorabilia sales.'

"You gotta admit, they rock PRETTY hard for a group with no arms."