Sports Mix-up Enthusiast Gifts

'It looks like it could be a strike.'

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

"Sorry, that's not my table."

Boomerang cow.

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

Improvised Dentistry.

'Eh...our costume party was last Saturday!'

'Daddy yells, 'I GOT IT I GOT IT' You should have seen how high the ball bounced off Daddy's head'

"I have 15,000 patients...so my fantasy football team stinks."

'I suppose you're going to tell me I need new contact lenses.'

'You came through the delivery with flying colors, Mrs. Lewis.'

Church Open 51 Sundays Per Year, Closed Superbowl Sunday

"Just the, two recruiters from the college's awning leap team drove by."

'Continue to support sex education in the schools if you want to, but Billy just told me that he resulted when your sperm met my omelet.'

"Right now someone is saying 'Look, somebody threw out a perfectly good briefcase!"

At the Olympic qualifiers for staring out the window

"This is the story of the Three Liitle Pigskins and the Big Bad Wolf!"

"Bert's Bakery? I think there's a pissed-off Bucks Party somewhere, standing around our wedding cake."

"Gina remembers where she left her pen... No wonder I can't write with this. It's a rectal thermometer."

'I've sewn a little handkerchief pocket inside his shorts for phlegm.'

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

"Please forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles. Will the happy couple please step forward?"

"Football Pool"

"No, this is not 'returns,' and that's not a receipt … it's a birth certificate!"

'I don't give a damn what the chart says! i did not have a hysterectomy!!!'

"What a screwup. I was only supposed to get a hip replacement."

Skeet Fishing.

'No nurse! - I said check their obs!'

New Combination Game

Track & Field & Stream

"Do you call this a party! I've been to livelier funerals!"