Sports Mix-up Lover Gifts

Golfer on Football Pitch

Alternative fielding positions

"Sorry, that's not my table."

'Eh...our costume party was last Saturday!'

Ski Surfing

Busy mom drops a child off at the kennels and is on her way to dropping the dog off at kindergarten.

'I suppose you're going to tell me I need new contact lenses.'

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

"Mr. October"

'Why am I here, nurse? I just wanted a replacement for my organ.'

'Elements' sports team

'Continue to support sex education in the schools if you want to, but Billy just told me that he resulted when your sperm met my omelet.'

"Right now someone is saying 'Look, somebody threw out a perfectly good briefcase!"

"Football Pool"

Soccer wins more attention than baseball in Cuba

"Please forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles. Will the happy couple please step forward?"

"No, this is not 'returns,' and that's not a receipt … it's a birth certificate!"

Skeet Fishing.

Love of the Game

'Eh Darling. Why is the goldfish in the cats bowl?'

He's made a putting green on the second floor.

'You're right. It does look infected. But I'm just the janitor.'

Yep. Ed's a man for all seasons: Baseball, Basketball, Football and Hockey.

'Hey, count me in!'

Alternative Names for Washington Redskins

"Do you call this a party! I've been to livelier funerals!"

Whoops! I've brought the wrong husband home from the shops.

Animal Hospital.

'You idiot! You didn't tell us this gig was for a marching band! '

"Ah...I see your mistake. We're, Proctor and Proctor. You're looking for the proctologist, next door."

Fantasy football - all players paid minimum wage, have fat ugly wags and drive old bangers.

A golfer with a curved gilf stick putts a ball around a tree

How the west was really won...