Sports Mishap Fan Gifts

'Lost your ball in the rough? Larry, this is bowling!

"Sit! Heel! Stay! Give me the darn ball!!" "Ball dogs – bad idea"

This sucks

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

'You know our track team stinks when our star pole vaulter is better at the limbo.'

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

The Rugby Throw Up.

Putt-putt. Drive-Drive. (Two minature golf courses. Golfer at first hits putt. Golfer at second is hit in head by golfball that has been hit as a drive.)

"Whoops - the server's gone down again!"

Discus accidents.

'Let me start off by saying this: I called you in here by mistake, and now I want you to leave.'

A football referee accidentally shoots his starting pistol in his pocket.

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

"Who are you looking at? Want to kick off, do you?"

"See? Right there - my wedding ring."

Sling

"I understand you were involved in a golf mishap this morning!"

Broken legs and broken nose in the hospital.

'Last month's meeting ended on a high note. Primarily because a disgruntled investor kicked our CEO in the groin.'

'ARRRGH you idiot,you idiot!!' 'When i said take the Don out, i MEANT for lunch!!' (a stupid mob guy kills the boss)

I have to let you go, Dobson. I've just found out you were hired because of a computer error.

'You're just going to feel a little pinch, then a horrific burning pain, your eyes will roll back into your head, you will drool uncontrollably...'

'The Wedge. I thought you asked me for the Wedgie.'

Watch your language.

Submarine emerges on top of building

"Can you explain to me again how you keep sustaining this eye injury in an orchestra?"

When Butt-dialers Talk

Victim of overzealous Heimlich Maneuver!

'Oops sorry, but it is such a big target'

Today will start off with an interesting twist.

STRIP Skier hitting a telegraph pole

'I collided with this stationary truck coming the other way!'

Dentist X-Ray Machine Issues

'Thank goodness Robert Green deflected attention.'

It's just not the same since we instituted the concussion protocol.