Sports Mashup Fan Gifts

Skeet Fishing.

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

The Elliot Ness monster.

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

The Cricketer and the Golfer

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

"Now we're really in trouble!!! It's the Power Walking Dead!!!"

Golf escape.

'It's not your fault, Dewey. Whenever a call doesn't go his way, he goes ballistic.'

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."

'Relax, teamwork always leads to a slam dunk.'

"I'm against pain killers for players, but I'm for them for supporters."

"By the time I was supposed to resume my hockey career, I had discovered ice dancing."

'Wanna play? We need another body... er... one more player.'

"I feel like I play better on clay."

"In this situation, I'd suggest a 5-word sentence with an action verb but hold the exclamation mark."

'While Dewey distracts the defense, the quarterback simply jogs into the end zone untouched.'

"Who are you looking at? Want to kick off, do you?"

False starts.

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

Cupid fires an arrow into a football.

'Good morning, class. I am Mr. Penny and will be your coach today. I expect you to behave - no running and jumping!'

'Excuse me, coach - but are we the hugs or the kisses?'

"That was one strange and confusing competition."

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'