Sports Mashup Fan Gifts

Skeet Fishing.

The exciting new game of skeet golf.

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

The Elliot Ness monster.

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

The Cricketer and the Golfer

Bowling - The Early Years. This game will never catch on --- it's too hard on the goalie.

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

'As avid soccer player, Roy head-bumps his playing partner's ball in for a birdie.'

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

"Now we're really in trouble!!! It's the Power Walking Dead!!!"

Golf escape.

'It's not your fault, Dewey. Whenever a call doesn't go his way, he goes ballistic.'

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."

"By the time I was supposed to resume my hockey career, I had discovered ice dancing."

"I'm against pain killers for players, but I'm for them for supporters."

Why are you dressed like a British lawyer? The term is barrister, but it doesn't surprise me you don't know that. In fact, it helps me make the case I'm here to prove today: That you're a meathead because you suffered concussions playing football. That's ridiculous. Hold on! Let your counsel represent you. I want to be fair. Counsel? Never mind. He seems to have no comment.

'Relax, teamwork always leads to a slam dunk.'

'Wanna play? We need another body... er... one more player.'

"I feel like I play better on clay."

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

Do you really have to do that every time you make a good call? 76. If refs acted like players.

Cupid fires an arrow into a football.

'While Dewey distracts the defense, the quarterback simply jogs into the end zone untouched.'

'Good morning, class. I am Mr. Penny and will be your coach today. I expect you to behave - no running and jumping!'

False starts.

"Who are you looking at? Want to kick off, do you?"

"In this situation, I'd suggest a 5-word sentence with an action verb but hold the exclamation mark."

'Excuse me, coach - but are we the hugs or the kisses?'

"Stay back. I don't know what he's got, but I'm afraid it's catching."