Sports Lovers United Gifts

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

I like the Jets...I guess

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

Mixed Doubles.

The Salmon Run

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

Mini tennis players playing on table tennis court.

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"Full disclosure—I really need this hug."

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

The Other Cooperstown

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

The University Cricket Match - a sketch at Lord's.

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Dialogue about the relationship.

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

Egyptian Football

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

T-Rex Game of Choice - Ping Pong

Golf with a difference

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."

"Think of me as the designated sitter."

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

'At last they're waving us through - Away you go George.'

The Epsom Derby - Bookies