Sports Jargon Aficionado Gifts

"I hope you like sports metaphors."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"Portrait of a Lady"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

He used to pass the buck, since being promoted to management he gets to call it delegating authority.

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

'Instead of cubicles, we call them interconnected productivity centres.'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"I propose the next person who says 'it is what it is,' we beat the living hell out of him."

Cristiano Ronaldo

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

The Harper Plays Cricket.

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

"I hear you've got quite a reputation with the girls around the office."

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

Fox hunting.

"I need to buy a faster fastball."