Sports Injury Punster Pillows

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

I think you're ace

Dogs life

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

"I do lover a good prawn film!"

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

"It looks like we're out of sample placebos."

'Well, you were convicted on three out of ten counts - at least we beat the point spread.'

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

"I'm hurt too bad...I can't hold on any longer!"

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'

Professional Cell Phone Accessories

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

"Your homocysteine chapel levels are right off the charts."

'He's had so many transplants that he's geing featured in next years garden catalog.'

Surfin' the web.

'I have a rasp in my throat.'

Timmy Gets Solitary.

'That's three strikes. You're Out!'

"During the holidays, we like to refer to organ donation as 'regifting.'"

'Let me explain what i mean about a 'Stool Sample' Mr.Hattnel.'

"There's no need to call me names, Slime-Breath!"

More holiday ICD-10 codes you may encounter...

'Come on, just a few more. I need to boost my metabolism.'

'I hope you get an ice cream headache!'