Sports Injury Punster Gifts

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

I think you're ace

Dogs life

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

"I do lover a good prawn film!"

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

"It looks like we're out of sample placebos."

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

'Well, you were convicted on three out of ten counts - at least we beat the point spread.'

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

"I'm hurt too bad...I can't hold on any longer!"

'He's had so many transplants that he's geing featured in next years garden catalog.'

"Your homocysteine chapel levels are right off the charts."

Professional Cell Phone Accessories

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

Mobile Holmes.

Surfin' the web.

'That's three strikes. You're Out!'

'I have a rasp in my throat.'

"During the holidays, we like to refer to organ donation as 'regifting.'"

Timmy Gets Solitary.

'Let me explain what i mean about a 'Stool Sample' Mr.Hattnel.'

"There's no need to call me names, Slime-Breath!"

Alligator drinking Gatorade,

'Come on, just a few more. I need to boost my metabolism.'

More holiday ICD-10 codes you may encounter...

We're all tired, and besides, it wasn't funny the first time you said "I'm beet"!