Sports Injury Discusser Gifts

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

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"...And don't give me that 'I hope his precious little Blackhawks lose' look either!"

Verbal Orders

'My knee's in rehab. This one's a loaner.'

I will not chew gum in class, even sugarless....

'Bad news. Your arm is too injured to hold up those sneakers you endorse on TV.'

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

'Don't worry, Kyle. You're gonna be ok. The athletic trainer will tape you up and get you back on the field in no time.'

Meet Larry; tenor, baritone, philosopher, social commentator, sport analyst, political expert, relationship expert … and A+ certified plumber.

'It's an old badminton injury.'

'I heard a rumour that Age Concern may stump up some sponsorship.'

'You got a problem with that call? Do ya, Coach? Well I call 'em the way I see 'em!'

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"

'You're getting too old for this game, Scott. ... They say the legs are the first to go.'

A headmaster in the stocks covered in rotten eggs.

'At £9,000 a year it's time to start worrying about 'owe' levels!'

'Well, Mr. Swine, it looks like you pulled a hamstring.'

'... but you've gotta admire him for at least trying to come back after an injury of that magnitude.'

'No Billy! I am not ready to see you yet!'

'If kids have to be raised properly, does that hurt?'

'Good news. We've decided to give you the game ball.'

'You think you've got a bad knee? Let me tell you about a bad knee, my brother.'

'Billy, I'm not going to argue the semantics of biting. Whether or not you penetrated skin, I'm calling your mother.'

"Is it too late to buy a policy?2

"Advantage, Mom."

"Why is this quarterback still playing?"

"In my day, if you colluded with anyone, Dad went for his belt."