Sports Enthusiasts Pillows

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin playing hockey. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore."

'Swelling, Babcock, is our body's way of telling us that something's wrong. But if you insist on staying in the game, hey, it's your elbow.'

'Remember that summer we coached little league?'

I like the Jets...I guess

'Remember kids, school sports isn't just about winning - it's also about some serious after-school peer domination!'

The Hound of the Basketballs.

Pole Vaulting in Hurdle Race

Seating arrangements.

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

'Go long!'

"It's a jungle out there!"

Fake wheelchair user.

'It appears to be a legitimate restraining order. . .'

"Let's have a clean fight and no hitting below the belt."

"We've just paid £10million, so your salary will be £3.75.. "

"Most of the apostles can make it but Thomas is doubtful"

'Remember his weakness is a pulled tendon, so keep it as high as your bursitis will let you, but take it easy with your fast ball because of my bone chips.'

There's a time and a place for the 'boxers vs. briefs' debate.'

"Not to diminish what you've achieved in the last eighteen months of training, but it appears that the javelin roll is not an Olympic sport."

"Quick God, give me the gift of the gab."

Sports Day at the Monastery

"Let's divide the teams into back pain vs. leg pain."

"Yeah, actually, we did need you to come in today."

'Are you crazy?! This guy is way too expensive to let him play football!'

'Divorce Court' "It's a rather crude system but the customers seem to like it"

School Sports Day Podium - collapsing under weight of fat kids

"...another eight inches and it would have been a six."

'Shoulda bet on the underdogs!'

"Latest Covid stats?"

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

'Of course we have the finest facilities in the league. This locker room has leather bench seating, cold a.c., and even plenty of cup holders.'

'Don't be such a sour loser.'

"Let's talk salary. How does Premier League footballer sound to you?"

'Well, I've stopped racing professionally you see, so I can enjoy good food at long last...'

Octopus and Kangaroo face-off