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Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

'The fish and chips are very nice.'

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

"Agenda item 14 C, does anyone have any idea what happened in Game of Thrones?"

Spelling a newspaper

"...And don't give me that 'I hope his precious little Blackhawks lose' look either!"

"I don'y know about you guys, but I don't feel like I've lost one goddamn bit of my feminity."

'Charles is a linguist. He speaks three language...golf, baseball and football.'

"I just completely disagree with what you just said about America lacking focus."

'What did He do before he was God?'

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

'Big Issue...'

"I hate arguing with someone who knows what they're talking about."

"The problem is: reasonable men may differ on what the hell reason is!"

'Crisis? Which crisis?'

Uni. Snowflake Library

"I've had enough of character building, Dad. Can I support a successful team now?"

Huge support for focus groups etc but nobody at the political meeting

"Free speech" does not mean your ignorance is equivalent to our knowledge!

"Oh I don't think it's as bad as all that. In fact, I think we're in the golden age of something which we won't even realize it's the golden age of until many years from now."

"Hey Dad? Are we still atheists?"

Meet Larry; tenor, baritone, philosopher, social commentator, sport analyst, political expert, relationship expert … and A+ certified plumber.

'Thank you for calling the bullpen,,, To continue in English, Press one,,,'

"Do you know how masculine it is to risk crying?"

'But I don't mean to bite people...they just get caught in my teeth.'

"We're a bit polarized here, I'm afraid. Ingrid wants to invade Haiti, I don't."