Sports Consultant Pillows

"...and the action figures will have concussions, they'll be on stretchers and wheelchairs..."

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

Perils of the double play.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

"Uptight End"

The Other Cooperstown

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

National Academy of Sport

"I love fast break business success."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"Try letting the ball come to you."

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

"Marketing hired a golf pro as our spokesperson. Finally, we've got someone on the ball around here."

'Are you blind ref?'

'Here's a play my backup QB designed. Everyone goes long and I throw to our opponent.'