Sports Consultant Pillows

"...and the action figures will have concussions, they'll be on stretchers and wheelchairs..."

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

Perils of the double play.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

"Uptight End"

The Other Cooperstown

National Academy of Sport

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"I love fast break business success."

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"Try letting the ball come to you."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

'Are you blind ref?'

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

'Here's a play my backup QB designed. Everyone goes long and I throw to our opponent.'

"Marketing hired a golf pro as our spokesperson. Finally, we've got someone on the ball around here."