Sports And Finance Pun Lover Pillows

City Broker Requires Dealer Who Can Keep Wicket

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

I like you and I like your company!

"Our Big Hairy Audacious Goal is balding."

'Henderson makes money the old fashioned way - White collar crime.'

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

"I've got an MBA. Massive Business Anxiety."

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

"Is that your answer to everything? 'Chase the dot?'"

To the grim reaper: 'You may go in now.'

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

'I am on a diet! It's called the Wall Street diet. I invested in British Airways, and the first day I lost 500 pounds.'

Mergers or acquisitions.

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

"Yes, the market did advance this week, Rebecca, but we feel it's somewhat of a 'dead-cat bounce.'"

'Just this once, but I want a piece of the action.'

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

'I know you're new to upper management, Hoskins, but here we don't catnap...we power nap.'

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

'It's a retrospective of Bernanke's most obtuse economic jargon...'

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

'Well, call it 'diet stocks'. Your bank account won't get fat because of the dividend income.'

Calls of the Wild: Moose Call, Coyote Call and Margin Call.

"Although the collection plate appears to be half full, our accountant assures me that it is half empty."

'Your investments aren't under performing, they're just appreciation challenged.'

'I'm rather rich actually, maybe it's because I always laugh all the way to the bank...'

'Consider it a bun deal.'

Hidden Assets

"I'm sorry but here we have a strict policy about hiring anyone who's squirmish about investing"

'Let's not overreact. We're just in solvent, not bankrupt.'

'This is what I call the ultimate in money laundering.'

'Activist investors are here to see you and they're wearing boxing gloves.'