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Thanksgiving Dinner Highlights

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Portrait of a Lady"

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'I like you, you've got balls.'

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."