Sports Addict Prints

'Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, now he's watching coverage of other people watching gold.'

"It will be dangerous to go 'cold turkey'. We need to wean her off with replays..."

'Tennis can be addictive...I wouldn't recommend going 'gold turkey'...let her watch an hour or two of repeats...'

Running With Scissors Marathon

I like the Jets...I guess

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

Go team!

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

Football Chameleon

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

If nobody had invented graphics

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Mixed Doubles.

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

A day at the transgenic races