Sports Addict Pillows

'Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, now he's watching coverage of other people watching gold.'

"It will be dangerous to go 'cold turkey'. We need to wean her off with replays..."

'Tennis can be addictive...I wouldn't recommend going 'gold turkey'...let her watch an hour or two of repeats...'

Running With Scissors Marathon

I like the Jets...I guess

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Bowled over again!

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

Go team!

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

If nobody had invented graphics

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

Football Chameleon

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

Mixed Doubles.

Monica Seles